My Weight

It's decided. I can't stand being so fat. I've decided that from now on, nothing but liquids. I can never stick to anything I say I'll , but from now on, if I do mess up and eat, I'll get rid of it immediately. I haven't been taking my meds at all lately. My mind is racing. My moods are changing constantly. I'm losing it. I can tell I'm going to start cutting again soon. I found a stapler in the garage, I just hope it has staples in it. Maybe I can find a staple gun. The only place I staple though is on my arm, so it's risky. I might just cut my leg instead. Like I said, I got some knives for Christmas. Very sharp. ^_^ In case anyone reads this, do you think I should post pics of my cuts? It would help me to get it out, but it might upset people who come read this. Oh yeah, I made a new friend! Her name is Rachel. I met her on Psyche.org. It's a really good website. I can't keep my mind still. I'm losing it... quickly. I still feel like crying, even when I'm happy. Or should be happy.

Hmmm... Turns out that the knives aren't as sharp as they seemed. I have a razorblade though, so that'll work.

I don't know what's wrong... I can't do it. Which is really bad because once I can, I'll lose it. I lose control... Time to try again.

Done...

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Later

My head hurts... I think I'm losing consciousness. I'm so tired... I have to sleep... But I still want to cut more... I think I need to go back to Shoal Creek, but I promised myself that I would never go back. God my leg hurts. I need help.